A relationship is one in which two people are happy, loving and stable. It is built on trust, respect and honour.A relationship can prove to be challenging when things are not going right, causing problems to surface. In a healthy relationship, you work it out, strengthening and bringing growth to the partnership. But what if things don’t seem to be going right and the relationship proves to be abusive, threatening and aggressive? Is this a time to find the strength and ask for help?
Dr Mike Kelly defines abuse:
The victims of domestic violence are mainly women and children. But men are victims of domestic abuse also. It is a pattern of controlling and violent behaviour such as physical, sexual, psychological or emotional abuse from one adult to another.
Dr Mike Kelly explain what is meant by control:
Whatever the reasons for a person to be abusive to someone else, there is no excuse. Abusers rarely change; therefore thinking you can change them will only put you more in danger. Here are a few signs to tell if you are in an abusive relationship:
- Your mood changes instantly and you are always on your guard.
- One of you loses their temper all the time.
- You are put down and made to feel as if you are worthless.
- You are not allowed to see your family and friends.
- All aspects of your relationship are controlled by the abuser including your finances.
Abusive and destructive language can be just as violent as physical violence. Pressure tactics such as threatening to withhold money, disconnecting the phone or confiscating your car keys only proves how controlling the man is and can get worse when he becomes jealous and monitors you and stops you from seeing your friends.
Physical violence involves punching, hitting, biting, pinching, kicking, pulling hair out, pushing, burning, strangling and raping. Any sort of violence needs to be reported to the police urgently. If you are in a relationship where you are experiencing this or know someone who is, there are avenues of help and support available.
Dr Mike Kelly explains how to refer someone you think may be abused:
Now that you have read this, go back to the beginning of the article. Is this the relationship you are experiencing? If not, and it’s the latter, isn’t it time to make that first step and ask for help?
For more information visit:
Your local police station
Full list of numbers and websites can be found on .Gov.